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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29076135">Ramblings of a Dying Adolescence</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/soleilas/pseuds/soleilas'>soleilas</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>I Ask Not For A Lighter Burden, But For Broader Shoulders [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Comfort, Fluff, Found Family, Platonic Relationships, Protective Sam | Awesamdude, Sam Nook - Freeform, awesamdad, discs, finally some sensible adults on the smp, seriously someone remembers that they are kids</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-20 13:00:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,158</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29076135</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/soleilas/pseuds/soleilas</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe everyone around them was too fazed to believe any of themselves had a childhood left.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sam | Awesamdude &amp; Toby Smith | Tubbo, Sam | Awesamdude &amp; TommyInnit, Tubbo &amp; Tommyinnit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>I Ask Not For A Lighter Burden, But For Broader Shoulders [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2299445</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>609</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Completed stories I've read</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Ramblings of a Dying Adolescence</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello, someone on TikTok wanted awesamdad content, so if you're here from that, here, you go. Please forgive me because I have never written for this fandom before. The title is taken from a song by the same name from the band Current Joys. </p><p>This is just a reminder that this is roleplay and written about the characters (and not the actual creators) from the Dream SMP.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sam wondered when they had become old enough to be martyrs. Perhaps when Tubbo had been put in charge of a destroyed nation or when Tommy had loyally stayed at his brother's side until the bitter end. Maybe everyone around them was too fazed to believe any of themselves had a childhood left. </p><p>Sam didn't accept that, not when he could see the way that Tommy still clung to his discs or the way that Tubbo still didn't fit into the presidential uniform given to him when he was put in charge. They were children, forced to grow up because they were playing someone else's games. He hoped that with Dream locked up, that perhaps they'd settle into the peace, but peace never really lasted long. </p><p>They all knew that.</p><p>At first, Sam wasn't sure what to do, so he watched. He watched Dream carefully, hidden behind the persona of the warden, and he watched Tubbo and Tommy with the sincerity they did not understand. He wondered when the last time they had someone besides themselves worry about them was? Sam questioned if he had been the first. </p><p>Then, through constant and careful observation, Sam saw the small things. He noticed how Tubbo stopped wearing the suit and how his need to protect himself escalated because he had already lost everything before. He watched Tommy as he struggled to find his place in the quiet and how he frequently played the discs just for some sort of noise. They were kids, and they needed protection despite how independent they were used to being. </p><p>Approaching Tubbo was easier, so Sam did that first. He allowed Tubbo to pull him away from his building or his prison duties to the snowy hills of Snowchester. By the time Sam returned home each time, covered in Redstone dust and dirt, he was confident that Tubbo trusted him enough. </p><p>"You're a good builder," Tubbo bloomed with the praise, "and you're a good kid."</p><p>It was enough at the moment, but Sam wished to do more. He knew Tubbo was happier, probably the happiest he had been able to be in a while, but Sam still noticed the battered shoulders and scarred smile. Tubbo was scared, and despite all that Sam could do, he couldn't remove that burden. Instead, he offered his support and headed home with a new flag to proudly display in his house, even if he wasn't a citizen. </p><p>Tommy was a lot harder to approach. Sam supposed it was natural after all the teenager had gone through. He was more defensive than Tubbo, his hand close to the sheathed sword at his waist, and his words ready to build a wall. Sam knew he needed to be careful; one mess up, and Tommy would withdraw. He had already faced too many betrayals. </p><p>Sam waited for Tommy to approach him with a hesitance hidden with bold words, and eventually, Tommy did. Blueprints for a hotel was the olive branch, a place where people could go when they didn't have a home (and people said Tommy didn't have a heart). Sam accepted the deal promptly and watched as Tommy left to gather up the diamonds as payment.  Even if it wasn't a nation like Snowchester, he was trying to move on, and Sam was proud. </p><p>Over the next few days, Sam spent his time split between Snowchester and the hotel construction site. His own projects laid to the side, just for the moment until he could make sure that there was enough support set up for the boys, but Sam didn't mind. It was nice spending time with Tubbo in Snowchester, setting up some sort of Redstone machine or building, and then gently directing Tommy with helping him build the hotel. </p><p>Bit by bit, Sam was helping them build back a semblance of a childhood. Whether that meant creating the Sam Nook persona to encourage Tommy's help or holding Tubbo as he tried to ignore the thunder outside. They were kids, and they needed someone that had their best interests at heart. </p><p>"Sam," Tommy held a disc as he gestured down the prime path towards his own dirt shack (he really did need to build Tommy a better house). "Do you want to listen to a disc with me?"</p><p>Sam doesn't hesitate to agree. The discs meant a lot to Tommy; there had been wars over them, and if he felt comfortable to play one with Sam, that implied Sam was on the right track. Sam gave Tommy space to play the disc before he sat down on the bench. For a moment, it was quiet before <em>Wait</em> rang out into the clear afternoon. </p><p>"I don't like this," Tommy confessed after a moment of thinking, "this peace. the lack of enemies." He was unfamiliar with it; Sam knew that the kid had grown up fighting wars and keeping guard even when he won. Sam didn't like it, but Tommy had been raised as a soldier. </p><p>"None of it feels right, and I know that Dream is locked up like the bastard deserves, but it's unnerving." Sam's heart broke as he realized what Tommy had been implying. Tommy was used to walking on thin ice under the hawkish gaze of everyone like Dream or even Wilbur. Even from a young age, he had been held up at a higher standard, much too high for a kid. Every mistake was a nail in his coffin, even if it had really been nothing in the end.</p><p>Sam can't help but think of what Dream had told him.<em> 'The thing about Tommy is that he will fight back even when he can't afford it. That is unless you break it out of him.'</em> He had been disgusted and unnerved as Dream told him everything. </p><p>Still, Tommy's strength marveled Sam (so did Tubbo's). Even beaten down, forgotten, and alone Tommy had still managed to fight back and escape. Sam nearly cried when he found out how close Tommy had come to dying. Even now, Tommy carried himself in a way that you wouldn't suspect the trauma that haunted him. Tommy was good at that, hiding his fears enough that he seemed okay. </p><p>"Tommy, Dream isn't coming out of that cell any time soon. I built that prison to be inescapable. Dream can't hurt you anymore, not from in there." Sam knew that wasn't true. Tommy was still hurting from the scars that Dream had maliciously carved into him, but that was what Sam was here for. He was there to slowly stitch the wounds that the others around them had made and never tried to fix.</p><p>"The only thing you need to worry about is being a kid and getting that hotel running. Let me worry about the rest." Sam gave him a reassuring smile. </p><p>The kids had been holding the weight of the world on their shoulders for too long, after all. It was Sam's turn. </p>
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